When you're young
and the woman in your hands is young,
you're provoked by the life in her skin;
in the muscles under her skin.
You can smell life
in the sweet perfume of her sweat,
in her breath,
sweet perfume that can make you dizzy.
You can sense life in the jittery convulsions
of her reaction to every new touch and sensation.
And you feel young and alive
and jolted by excitement every time you come near her.
But the older you get,
the older the woman in your hands gets,
you grow lulled by the lazy response
of her flesh to your touch,
lulled by the numb response of your own nerves to her flesh,
by the sluggish torpor of her muscles;
the souring perfume of her sweat;
of her tears;
the souring smell of her old guts
belching out air.
And it's a curse,
because getting older doesn't make you
like being with an old woman
any more than you did when you were young.
It's worse, really,
because it lacks even
the thrill of novelty or the forbidden.
She's just old,
and she reminds you that you're old
and that your old shell is still taking up space
but that its life is almost gone.
But nothing's worse
than being old and holding youth in your hands,
even youth that's thrilled by the novelty of you.
Because you can still smell youth's sweetness,
feel the spring of muscles under her taut skin,
but you know it isn't yours.
You're not sharing in it
but are feeding off it like some kind of vampire.
And you wonder what the point is,
what the point of going on living,
the point of loving, the point of touching.
And all your instincts, your training,
have made you too afraid to pull the trigger
and end it yourself,
to take responsibility that nature has abdicated
into your own trembling, weakening hands.
You stare at those hands,
studying them, wondering what they are,
why you can't make them do what you want them to do.
You stare down at your hands
and you realize that even your own hands
aren't really yours anymore.
And you look up from your hand into the mirror
and you see a face that you recognize,
a face that you've been staring at for your entire life,
for eternity,
and you remember that the face is yours,
but you have no idea who you are anymore.
And the person you once were
who had any kind of cohesiveness or connection to himself
feels a million Miles away,
like the native of some alien planet
you visited long ago
in another lifetime.
That's what it's like to be 40
Jesus Christ, you look better than my brother.
He just graduated law school.
That's the curse I'm talking about:
What you're looking at isn't real,
none of it.
You do smell kind of different from younger guys.
Their sweat is electric.
It's scary,
not so much fun sometimes.
I mean, your muscles are still there and everything,
but it's different.
It's mellower.
I feel like I can relax.
I don't know if you remember,
but it's not so much fun being young
and freaked out about everything all the time.
It doesn't change.
Haven't you even been listening to me?
I know 14-year-old girls who sound like you do.
I bet you sounded exactly the same when you were 14,
although you'd have something different to be depressed about,
'cause you wouldn't be old.
Old? I'm 40.
You said it.
God could reverse your age back 20 years,
and you'd still be complaining
about how you miss being old again.
- I'm not old. - No.
You're depressed.
Being old's got nothing to do with it.
I'll tell you the worst part about getting old.
You said you weren't.
It's getting lectured by kids who think they know everything.
That's the worst part.
It's getting lectured by kids
who think that all the shit you're going through now
is gonna add up to something good later,
that for everything you lose, you'll gain something.
Well, you won't.
I am doing you a fucking favor.
You want to hang out
with an old guy so you can feel relaxed?
Well, then allow him to do you this favor
and tell you that you will lose everything and gain nothing,
not a single fucking thing
except the knowledge that you've lost everything
and gained nothing.
Nothing?
You say you want to do me a favor,
but you give me nothing.
How's that doing me a favor?
By helping you lower your expectations.
Lower your expectations,
and the pain of realizing how empty it all is
might be lessened.
So you want to ruin my happiness now
so you can spare me pain later?
I'll take my happiness.
I'll take my pain.
The only thing I don't want are your goddamn favors.
You should feel guilty
about hanging out with young girls.
Although, if I were you, I would feel guiltier
about hanging out with the old ones,
because I imagine that they have enough shit to deal with
without being invaded by your bullshit about nothing.
I would feel guilty about hanging out with my friends,
if I were you.
I would go into a room,
crawl into a closet and lock the door.
I'm sorry.
For what?
I'm just sorry, all right?
No, you're not.
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm telling you I'm sorry, and you saying I'm not
isn't gonna change that I'm sorry.
No.
You can say whatever you want to say,
but you're not sorry.
You're hurt.
I tried. I... I'm sorry.
No, you're not.
It's not like I did anything terrible to you.
Give me something here, will you?
I thought you were the one handing out favors.
The explosion rocked the twin towers
of the world trade center at about 12:15,
sending many of the 130,000 people
who either work or visit the towers each day
scurrying into the streets.
Sources say a huge bomb exploded
on level b2 of the garage below the vista hotel.
Thanks, Joe.
Reinforced concrete in the garage
absorbed most of the explosion,
preventing what could have been a disaster from occurring
as firefighters made a second sweep.
You have to come to school to see my teacher.
How's that?
She saw us all scrambling around on the playground,
and she said she wanted to see the mothers
of all the boys that was fighting,
so, pa, I guess you're gonna have to go for me.
Young ones, young ones, young ones, young ones.
Yeah, everything's fine.
No, no.
Everything's okay.
Yeah, I'll come over for dinner
I don't know, around 7:00?
No. No, I've got some stuff to do this afternoon.
Come on, you got me here waiting 15 minutes already.
Come on all ready, we're late!
There are 20 less seconds on the shot clock.
That's the game clock you're looking at.
You can't leave him alone.
Mm.
So beautiful.
Look at that beautiful face.
Look at the clothes you're wearing.
- Hey, dad. - My son.
So beautiful, and you hide it under theseshmates.
I don't understand it.
What are you ashamed of?
I still have that beautiful jacket I bought for you.
It's waiting in your father's closet
anytime you want to wear it.
# #
Hey, bro.
Your brother wrote a new piece.
Yeah? I can't wait to hear it.
I'm just practicing.
I'll play it for you later. I can't wait.
Mom!
The yams are boiling! Oh, my God.
I made you a soup, and I have salmon and a green salad.
Great. That sounds great.
And I also made some extra chicken.
If the salmon isn't enough.
Well, I'm sure the salmon will be...
Also some mashed potatoes.
I'm sure the salmon...
He said the salmon would be enough.
I have some mashed potatoes from yesterday.
- What are all these yams? - If you're still hungry.
I eat two yams. Two!
Well, I just put a few extra.
I eat two yams!
If you cook all these, you're gonna have to throw them out.
All right, I'll take them out. I'll take them out.
Okay, all right. I take them out.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Does anybody need to use the bathroom?
- No. - No.
'Cause I'm gonna use it,
so if anybody needs to use it, use it now.
It's fine.
Mom, why do you let him push you around like that?
It's okay, I just put too many yams on.
What...
You shouldn't be cooking for him anyway.
He shouldn't even be living here.
You haven't seen him for a while.
You don't know how weak he is.
He's better now, but you don't see him.
He's been so weak.
I see him. I'm here, aren't I?
You don't see him the way I see him.
You don't see how weak he is.
He's weak because you let him get away with being weak.
You don't ask him to do anything.
How long are you gonna let him emotionally blackmail you?
Can't you just stop it?
How about you?
You still seeing that beautiful girl?
No.
Well, but she wasn't for you.
I didn't say anything, but she wasn't for you.
If she was, I guess she'd be here, huh?
You need someone who's more your equal.
Equal in what?
It's not a competition, is it?
You need to find someone who can...
Someone who can help you.
Help me? She left me.
Maybe I didn't have anything to give to her, mom.
You ever thought about that? Hmmph.
Maybe I have nothing to give to anyone.
That ever crossed your mind?
You just need to find the right girl.
So how's work?
I'm not working.
It's important to keep working.
Why? What's so great about work?
You work all the time. What's so great about your life
I'm alive.
After the war,
when I came back to Paris living with my mother,
men chased me all around the city.
I didn't care.
I wanted my freedom.
Mom!
I'm gonna start the carrots now, mom.
The more I ignored them, the more they chased me.
The more they chased me,
the less I wanted them.
There was a boy, a handsome boy from Sweden,
whose family had a lot of money...
Millionaires.
I didn't care.
He wanted me to marry him.
He asked me to marry him every day.
That's how she tells it.
But I finally told him I don't want to see him anymore
but then his mother called one night, crying,
saying he was with a gun in his room,
and he was going to kill himself
unless I went to see him.
I told her, he can kill himself if he wants to.
I am not going to see him.
And I hung up the phone.
No one was going to pin me down, not me.
Your yams are on the stove, two of them.
You can finish it yourself.
Oh, you'll find the right girl.
Yeah, you know what? I...
I know you cooked and everything,
but I'm gonna go.
Are you gonna leave this house
without giving your mother a kiss?
I'm gonna be late for school.
First go give your mother a good morning kiss.
Maybe you can give her a kiss today.
I kiss her,
but to start her day,
she needs a good morning kiss from you.
I can give her a kiss.
You can kiss her after school.
In the morning, she needs a kiss from your big brother.
Now, come on. Let's get your things.
Slap! Oh!
No.
Slap! Oh, God, so good.
Slap!
No.
Mm. Mm.
Mm, no.
What are you doing?
What do you mean, "what am I doing?"
I want to make love to you.
- We can't do that. - What?
You've been with too many girls.
I haven't been with that many girls.
Too many girls.
I haven't.
Too many girls.
Thud!
Too many girls.
Hey.
Sorry... sorry if I scared you.
I let myself in.
I just couldn't...
Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
I just can't deal with mom and dad.
I'm going crazy.
I mean, they put on a show when you come over,
but they're fighting all the time.
And then when he tries to be nice to her
and get close to her,
she goes and calls her guys, you know, her friends,
and makes plans with them.
She makes plans and does nothing.
She's an ice queen.
Ice queen, with that temper?
The deeper the ice, the louder it cracks.
She's frigid.
You know, I don't think she's ever had an orgasm, man.
Hey. Hey, it's all right.
You don't have to talk like that.
I don't think she's had sex with dad since you were born.
But who cares? It's their life.
You shouldn't be there anyway.
I know, but I don't know what to do.
You should start working. That's what you should do.
Get out in the world and make a living.
Play some music, man; Make some money.
Do something so you can get the hell out of there.
You think it's so easy. I mean, I'm trying.
- I'm not say... - You don't give me any credit.
Credit?
You know, it's a miracle I'm not in a hospital right now
it's because you won't eat. Why won't you eat?
You have to eat like a normal human being.
Just please fucking eat like a normal human being.
Stop making mom
cook yams and potatoes for you all the time.
Start taking care of yourself. Jesus, man, come on.
Look, you should stay here.
Okay, thanks.
I'll sleep on the couch.
I'll be gone by the time you wake up...
No, I mean, you should...
You should come live in this apartment
and get out of mom and dad's.
Well, I... I don't know if now is such a good time.
I mean, they're not getting along,
and she's really on edge.
I wouldn't want to rock the boat.
Rock the boat?
Jesus, this will steady the boat.
Get out of there and come stay here.
Well, this place is tiny.
You've got girls to bring over.
I won't be here.
What do you mean?
I mean, I'm staying at this woman's place anyway.
Well, I thought you broke up with...
No, no, no, not her. The, um...
The Asian one.
You remember her?
Oh, yeah.
Do I? She's like, wild.
There's a lot of them out there, man.
They're all over the place.
I mean, the world's crawling with Asian...
Not for me.
What do you mean, not for you?
Of course not for you unless you get out of the house.
You've got to get out of the house...
Okay, let's just not talk about it, okay?
, I mean, yeah, I'll move in here
but if you're gonna pressure me about girls and about going out,
then I'll just... I won't; You know, I'll go back.
- Hey, look, all right. - I don't need to be here.
Take it easy. I'm not pressuring you.
We're just having a conversation, okay?
Just get all your shit and come stay here.
Well, what about my piano?
We'll get the movers and bring it here.
You can, um...
You can move all that shit away from the wall there
and put it there.
All right?
Hi.
I'd like to take a room for the month.
Oh, we don't rent by the month.
Daily rates only.
I always stay here monthly.
Maybe you used to, but we don't do that anymore.
Can I talk to the manager?
I am the manager.
What happened to the other manager?
I don't know; Maybe he's managing some other hotel.
There are still a few in town that offer monthly rates,
but I wouldn't recommend them.
Good morning. This is your wake-up call.
I am awake.
I must extend my reservation.
When will you be leaving us?
Soon.
Hello.
Hi. Hi.
I couldn't help but notice what a great mother you are.
Don't... don't worry. I'm not weird;
I'm not trying to pick you up.
I'm an agent with a&m,
and I just couldn't help but notice you.
A&m?
Actors and models agency.
We specialize in real people who have a little something extra.
We do Christmas catalogs and commercials,
that kind of thing.
I just couldn't help notice
how radiant you look tending to your son.
But we're for real. I promise
you can check us out with the BBB.
BBB? What?
Better business bureau.
I don't tend to scope out new clients on the street,
but I guess it's like
an ingrained instinct at this point.
If you're interested in doing some modeling work,
stop by our offices 9:00 in the morning on Saturday.
That's when we do our open calls.
You used to be able to see the sky here when I was a kid.
Now it's like you're this mouse in a gigantic maze.
Oh, that's putting it nicely.
Yeah, but some people still stick it out, though, right?
I mean, people who have an inner shine
that the city doesn't beat out of them.
I guess I notice that 'cause of my work.
Your work?
I guess I got a little comfortable,
started sitting on my ass and letting girls find me.
Girls with the freshest faces, like yourself,
aren't necessarily planning on doing something like this.
Finding something real
keeps me interested in what I'm doing, so...
Thank you all for coming. I know it's early.
Some of you have met me before,
and it's nice to see you again.
Others have found us in a number of different ways.
Go ahead and pass those around.
Today I and several of my colleagues
will be evaluating you personally,
but first I wanted to say a few words to you as a group.
And you should look around the group,
because you'll see a lot of girls just like you,
girls who aren't necessarily going to be supermodels
but who have a special something
that sets you apart, something real.
We're in the big city.
And if you're looking to be a supermodel,
you probably shouldn't be here.
We're not a star agency.
But we work hard, and we like where we are.
Now, I am not promising you the moon,
I'm not promising you anything.
But if we decide to work with you,
we'll match the level of your commitment.
If you're just here to get a few photos taken,
give it a go for a few weeks, thank you for coming.
You're probably not for us.
But...
If you're truly committed,
you'll find you have a hell of a partner.
You'll need headshots.
And for you, with your figure,
I'd suggest full body shots as well.
Of course, you're free to go to any photographer you'd like,
but here's a list of photographers
we highly recommend.
This guy really gets results right here.
This guy, he's great too, but he's a little pricey.
, and this studio's excellent
particularly for actors' headshots.
Do you have any acting experience?
That's probably for the best.
Of course, there are a few tricks that are good to know.
Help you be comfortable in auditions, make an impression.
Help the real you come out.
I used to take classes myself.
Now I actually teach one.
It might cost a little something extra at first,
but I'll tell you, it's worth it in the long run.
Would you like a brochure?
You got right back on the saddle.
How long has it been since you last worked?
Actually I got thrown for a second there.
Did something change around here?
Who brought in all those lookers?
Is he a new partner?
He's on commission,
just like you.
So you won't mind if I say a few words, then.
Well, the class is $475 this month.
Yeah, you can it weekly. That's fine.
You know, monthly saves you $30 per class, though.
Exactly. Okay.
Hey, I saw your new headshots, by the way.
Those are great.
Those are fantastic. Yeah.
I love the one with the motorcycle.
I think it's great.
Listen, I have to go. I have some people here.
Okay, so long.
Listen, just take the acting class.
It'll be really good for you.
No, I told you, I'm not an actress.
It's okay.
That just means you have more to reveal.
Don't you think she should take the acting class?
How long have you been here?
Um... I have... Did you have something at 6:00?
Yeah, sorry, God.
So thanks so much, and bye.
- I'll call you. - Okay.
Uh, I've been here about three months.
Well, then I'm safe in assuming you're familiar
with our policy with recruiting girls who look like that.
There's a policy?
You know how long this operation's been running?
Ten years,
with only three name changes and one move.
Unlike others like it who are forced to move
from state to state, from city to city
like the penny ante cons they truly are.
And you know why?
Because things here are kept low-key.
You take a girl like that girl you just had in here,
she's been told she's a looker
since the day she was able to smear on her mommy's lipstick.
Guys have been falling over her all her life,
uncles staring at her and jerking off
under their pants at family picnics.
She believes she deserves
to have the moon handed to her on a string.
You promise her that moon and don't give it to her,
or worse, she finds out it wasn't there to begin with,
firstly, it's cruel.
And secondly, she's gonna kick and scream
like a spoiled brat until daddy, or in this case,
the BBB, comes in and makes it their business
to shut us down just to shut her up.
You take another girl, like that girl,
who's had to work all her life for everything she has,
give her the chance to believe she can cash in
on her looks, even in the most modest way,
it doesn't work out for her,
she's not gonna believe the world came to an end;
just the opposite.
She's gonna figure she gave it a shot and lets it go,
because she kept her expectations low all along,
and we just helped her keep them that way.
Okay.
Firstly, that girl that you're so worked up about,
I didn't go fishing for her, okay?
She came to me, and I wasn't about to chase her off.
And you know what?
We're actually friends now.
We're like Sunday buddies.
So you don't have to worry about her.
Secondly, a couple of girls that I brought in
actually booked some jobs off of some calls I made.
So now if some girl gets mad
because she isn't being sent out,
we can just point to the ones who are,
and we can say, 'hey, it's a crap shoot out there.
"You just didn't have the stuff.
So I'm actually protecting the operation.
And you know, if you get enough girls working around here,
this place might be, like, a real agency.
Some speech.
If that's what you're looking for,
why didn't you join a real agency in the first place?
'Cause I don't want to start in some horrible mail room.
And gradually slave my way up.
So that by the time I'm old and bored,
I might have a stake in some stale company.
Did you express these sentiments to...
I heard you were gonna teach
one of these acting classes yourself.
You mind if I drop in, pick up a few pointers?
Suit yourself.
Okay.
I heard your spiel out there, by the way,
and if anything's unnecessarily cruel, that was it.
Excuse me?
That whole line about keeping expectations low,
keeping things realistic, that's horrible.
I mean, if I promise a girl the moon,
then at least for a while, she's high
on the possibility she may actually get it some day.
And if she feels fucked over afterwards,
you know, she can tell herself it was temporary madness,
that she allowed her basest desires
to get hold of her for a moment and now she's back on track.
But you're hitting her right where she lives.
That is the most honest, decent, practical part of her soul.
And when she realizes she's been fucked over there,
in the part of herself that she trusted in the most,
what are you leaving her with, then?
When she can't trust anything anymore,
what does she have left?
# #
mom?
Mom.
Don't touch it, mom!
Look, look, look, just forget about it.
Just move it back it into the room.
Just forget it. Forget what?
You're not gonna move it now?
I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, I... I can't deal with them moving the piano.
I just can't deal with them...
And you'll go stay at your brother's place without it?
Come, let them do their work. Here. Here.
It's too soon. It's too soon.
- What's the problem? - Too soon?
Too soon for what?
What are you talking about? What's going on?
He doesn't want to let them move the piano.
What?
Guys, could you just... I'm sorry.
Could you just wait downstairs for five minutes?
A few minutes? I'll be right down.
There you are. Thanks.
You know the piano wasn't always here, right?
You know it had to be moved in here somehow.
It's fine.
But why do they have to move it now?
This has nothing to do with a piano.
It's me.
He won't leave me.
He won't leave me alone!
Why won't you leave me alone?
Don't touch me!
Don't...
Don't touch me!
Don't touch me. Leave me alone!
I'm not going to feed you!
Do you hear me? I am not going to feed you.
Crash!
Leave me alone!
All of you.
Leave me alone.
Hello?
I'm sorry, but now isn't such a good time to...
I see.
It's for you.
Yes. Hold on a moment.
She's coming.
Yep, I understand. She'll...
She'll be right here.
She's just coming now.
All right.
Here she is.
Hello?
What happened?
An old friend of your mother's died.
He was found gassed in his apartment.
I'm getting the movers back up here.
# #
hello.
Hello.
Click!
Hello.
Hello?
Hello.
Click!
Oh.
I can't.
I can't!
It's been too long.
It hurts too much... Stop.
Stop right there.
You're doing too much.
It's boring.
You're boring.
The more you do, the less room you give your audience to feel.
It might not be what you want them to feel,
but at least they'll feel
what they think they should be feeling,
which is better than having them feel the wrong thing.
Never show what you feel.
Hide it. Keep it to yourself.
Keep your secrets.
If you have a secret,
everyone wants to know what it is.
If you have no secrets,
I don't care how smart you are, how interesting you are,
you're boring.
'Cause you've got nothing to show us
that we don't already know.
You keep a monster in the closet,
it's scary.
Open the closet,
I don't care how terrible that monster is,
you look at it long enough,
you grow numb to the horror.
And it works both ways.
You put a poor man in a palace, he'll sing like a bird.
But after two weeks,
he starts bitching about how long it takes to walk
from the bedroom to the kitchen for a snack.
We despise what we know, because once we know it,
it becomes part of who we are, and we all despise ourselves.
It's what we don't know...
The mystery that holds within it
the possibility for transcendence.
Never mind that we never transcend;
that every mystery, once revealed,
leads to bitter disappointment.
When you walk into that room,
whatever part you're playing,
be it a queen or a clown,
what you're selling is the mystery,
because you're boring.
You know it, I know it, the people in the room know it,
, and if I'm sitting in that room
what I want you to do is to fool me,
even if it's just for a moment
while you're spouting some idiotic line
from some idiotic script
that I've heard 1,000 times before,
over and over,
since the dawn of human comprehension.
You're nothing.
You've got nothing to offer.
Even though in our heart of hearts,
we all know it, we still want to fooled,
because we are terrified of our own emptiness.
And it's up to you to take advantage of that fear;
to use it for your own purpose.
Give us nothing,
and we'll always want you.
Give me nothing.
I can't.
I just can't.
It's been too long.
I can't do it ever again.
That's what's so deceptive about...
That nothing thing was a neat trick.
I'm gonna use it myself if I ever give one of those.
Neat trick?
Yeah, it's like a poker face, right?
You keep your cards close to your vest,
you've got nothing. People think you got something.
It's not a fucking trick.
Okay, what is it?
It's the truth.
Maybe if you've got a nothing hand.
You know, I don't... I don't totally understand you.
I mean, you're up there, you've got all that gripping oratory,
and you're standing in front of a bunch
of bamboozled girls off the street and housewives
who never considered
taking an acting class before in their lives.
And you're dropping existential philosophy on them,
and they're just sitting there
hoping for some stupid modeling job
they're never even gonna get an audition for, much less book.
At least they get something out of it, right?
No. Mean, you said it yourself;
you're giving them nothing, nothing they can use, anyways.
You know what I don't understand?
Why everyone under the age of 30
feels the need to lecture me about myself.
Is it fear?
Is looking at me like gazing into the abyss?
Are you talking just to fill up your ears
so you don't have to hear the truth?
Who made you the one who decides what the truth is?
Now, listen.
That's the second time that you've accused me
of giving you a speech or a lecture
for saying a few words back
after you talk for so long, man, it makes my ears bleed.
And maybe one of us is talking
so he doesn't have to let anything else in;
I just... I don't think that's me.
I would say you're in love with the sound of your own voice
if you didn't sound like you fucking hate yourself.
I've never heard that much self-hatred before.
It's like a disease.
And you're afraid of catching it.
We're cool, right?
Right?
- Ready to go, darling. - Let's go.
This is my stop.
You want to come in, meet my friends?
- Come on. - Let's go.
You're overthinking this.
You should come in. They're really lonely.
# I just don't know why #
# you began to cry #
# when you said #
# said #
# we're through #
# well, I think you'll come to see #
# eventually #
# that I love #
# love, love #
# you #
I don't remember.
Did you say... Do you speak French, or...
No, oh, my God, no. Stop talking.
You've been talking all day.
Give her a spin on the floor.
I don't dance.
Come on, why are you wearing those pants, then?
Really. I don't know how to dance.
It's all right, I'll give you a lesson.
I'll show you. I don't-i don't...
All right.
Yeah.
Nice.
Real nice.
And you just kind of go with it.
It's not so bad. That's nice.
Baryshnikov.
Why don't you take the lead for a minute?
Yeah.
Oh, this is nice.
Hey, where'd that move come from?
All right.
Why don't you give it back so I can show you a turn?
'Cause the ladies love the turn
# #
# hosin' off the sidewalk #
that's why the ladies love it
# what does it say #
# your fucking sunny day #
# #
# is it not supposed to #
# if and when #
# #
# the deep down bends #
# but for a breath of wind #
# and they're gone #
# I didn't mind being what he... #
- come on. - No.
Slap!
I want to make love to you.
Why? This is so much better.
Slap!
Slap! Slap! Slap!
I need to make love to you.
We can do other things.
I don't want to do other things.
You've been with too many girls.
Come on, enough with that already.
We can do other things.
I'm tired of doing other things.
I'm sick of it, all right
I just want to make love to you.
Why is that so fucking wrong?
You've been with too many...
Goddamn it! Stop saying that.
What are you, some kind of robot?
Can't you say anything else?
How long have we been doing this shit, huh?
How many fucking times do we have to go through this?
Aren't you sick of this bullshit?
Don't you want to make love?
What the hell is wrong with you?
We can do other things.
Do you want me to go?
I should go.
No.
Don't go.
No, please stay.
You still have your place.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, my brother's there now.
Your brother?
Yeah.
Ugh.
There's a guy who hasn't been with too many girls.
I mean, he's 35 years old,
and I don't think he's been out with a girl
since high school.
Is he a homosexual?
No, he's just crazy.
He doesn't eat.
I mean, he's got these crazy compulsive eating habits.
And he freaks out if he goes
more than 30 blocks from the house.
Is he sick?
I don't know.
I used to think so.
I don't know anything anymore.
I don't know a goddamn thing.
# #
excuse me.
Do you know the man playing that piano in there?
Well, I don't know when he decided
he could start playing that piano in there,
'cause it's got to stop.
You tell him it's got to stop, will you?
You say anything to make him stop playing,
I'll kill you.
I don't know what I'll do.
But I'll come back here, and I'll kill you.
Do you hear me?
I'll kill you!
I don't understand.
C'est pas normal.
How long have we known each other?
I've never seen you like this.
If there's something wrong,
then we should do something about it.
I can't see you anymore. That's it.
Some things cannot be fixed.
There is nothing that cannot be fixed
if we want it to be fixed.
But sometimes we don't want to fix things.
Do you want to fix this?
I told you to fix it!
I told you to fix your room before I came back!
I told you to fix it!
Fix your room!
I told you to fix it!
Fix your room!
You never listen!
Fix it!
Fix your room!
I told you to fix it!
Fix your room!
All right, that's enough.
That's enough.
Come on.
Let go of me. Let go of me.
Let go.
Let go of me! All right.
Let go of me!
Laisse-moi.
Lache moi.
Calm down.
Laisse-moi!
Laisse-moi.
Lache moi.
Non.
Ma'am, he was the second of your acquaintances
to die violently in as many weeks.
You were the last person to see him
other than his coworkers.
Did he say anything or give you any indication
someone might mean him any harm?
We're not accusing you of anything, ma'am.
We know this is very hard for you,
but we need your help if we're going to solve these crimes.
You're a criminal.
You're a criminal, and you're a liar.
We checked if you've been sending other girls out,
and nobody's been sent out. I want answers.
We've been here for over an hour.
That's the business.
The business?
No one's been sent out for over three months.
Shh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It just can't be this loud out here.
I've got a meeting going on in there.
Is there something maybe I can help you guys with?
Yeah, the problem is, we've been promised work
and have gotten nothing.
He promised us.
I personally have two girls out at an audition right now,
but acting's a really... It's a tough profession, okay?
It takes a while to...
- We're not actors. - We're not here for acting.
- We're models. - Wow, okay.
Uh, I mean this with all due respect,
'cause I didn't sign you guys
you guys are very beautiful, but you're...
You guys are characters, okay?
And you're clearly very vocal
you guys haven't taken an acting class ever?
- No. - Never.
Well, that young lady came in to me today
to tell me that she got a callback
after taking only a few classes from this man.
I think you guys would do really well with it.
You want to come into my office?
Maybe we can interrogate her about her experience?
- Sure. - Okay.
All right. Well, follow me.
I can't believe you guys haven't taken an acting class.
Well, why didn't he say anything
about acting classes if he's so...
It's gonna help you channel some of that anger.
How come we didn't know about this?
That's a great... That's a great question
that I'm gonna get to the bottom of.
Well, we've spent a lot of money.
Are we gonna have to spend more?
You're not having any fun, are you?
I mean, the way you acted,
it's like you never even talked to a woman before.
Are you seeing anyone?
What about the boss?
I've seen the way she looks at you.
What about the two of you?
You know, personally, she really scares me.
You're not the only one
who doesn't want pretty girls around, man.
You know, I thought I had a really great office
until I realized that
there's a giant piece of glass where a wall should be
and she's just gonna fucking stare at me through it
every time I have a girl in there under 30.
I've been trying to work up the courage to return her gaze.
I want to make some eye contact,
but I'm just not ready yet.
You know, you are way too overqualified
in, like, every single way,
to be doing the bullshit you're doing.
You know what you said in that acting class?
That wasn't tricks; That was real.
And I... look, I know I gave you some shit about it,
but it's because I was kind of shocked.
You know, I wasn't expecting to feel anything,
and you shook me up.
You're way to good for this life.
And you're not?
When I was eight, my dad split.
And my mom took my sister and me to live in Vancouver,
where she got us hooked up with the Mormon church.
Ah, Mormon.
No wonder you pitch such a smooth line.
Yeah, we're natural salesmen.
We have the fastest growing faith on the earth.
Anyways, from the moment they got ahold of me,
they were telling me that I was something special
and I was being groomed for a high place in the church,
maybe to become one of the 12 apostles,
maybe church president. The sky's the limit.
Point is, God's eye was on me every second of my life.
So I didn't drink, I didn't smoke,
I didn't swear, and no girls.
But you know, I broke,
and I keep waiting for the sky to fall on my head,
and every day it doesn't,
it's like I have to push things a little bit further.
But the sky still doesn't fall.
And it just makes me feel even worse.
It just makes me feel like everything I knew is a lie.
Religion's just a con, man, like everything else.
They zero in on the weak one and make him work twice as hard.
You didn't break.
You're the strong one.
I had this rabbi who ran the yeshive
I went to when I was a kid.
I was the only nonreligious kid in my class.
I still, to this day, have no idea
why my parents sent me there.
Anyway, this rabbi would pull me aside
and tell me that I was going to be
a great leader of the Jewish people.
Me.
I didn't even believe in God.
It made me feel guilty every goddamn day of my life.
Sure. Heard about that.
About what?
Jewish guilt.
See, I resent it every time I feel guilty,
which is all the time,
because guilt is supposed to be something that Jews feel.
Yeah, we own the original patent;
we just license it to everyone else.
Well, I think the copyright's expired at this point.
It's public domain.
I think it's time we moved on to a new business model.
Yeah? You got any bright ideas?
Maybe. Maybe I do.
I have this friend from school.
He works at the FDC upstate.
Now, for 10 grand,
he can get me a legitimate agency license.
No bond, no questions asked.
The only requirement is an actual address.
Now, in the meantime,
I know of an eight-room suite on Broadway
that I can get from this landlord I know
for a pretty ridiculous rate.
How ridiculous?
50 grand.
50 grand for eight rooms on Broadway?
Yes, but it's got to be in cash,
and it's got to be up front.
Who is this guy, another college buddy?
No, I never went to college. I meant grade school.
But no.
This guy's just a guy I do an occasional favor for.
What kind of favors?
Uh, you know, nothing mysterious.
Some guys just need help when it comes to the opposite sex,
even guys with money.
Now, I also know a couple young agents working at the bigs
who are willing to jump ship
and bring their clients with them
if I can demonstrate I have a real setup,
which is what I'm trying to do.
But I'm living hand to mouth right now.
This guy's not gonna hold this place for me forever.
So you're gonna need cash.
Which is why you're talking to the Jew, right?
Cash and experience and talent.
You know, this could be a real thing.
This could be step one to having
a real agency that represents real clients.
But these guys I'm talking about, they're young too,
and I have a feeling they're the type
who might jump ship when the water gets rough.
I don't know how much I trust them.
- And you trust me? - I don't trust you either.
But this is something we both want.
Hello.
Yes?
When?
Who was it?
Oh, it was just someone asking questions.
The police?
That's not why I'm telling you this.
I'm just telling you I'm taking out a loan.
- On this apartment? - Right.
What if this business thing that you're talking about
doesn't work out and you can't pay it back?
Well, then they get to sell it,
but that won't be for a while.
And only if...
I'm moving back to mom and dad's.
That's not why I'm telling you this.
I'm just telling you this in the interest of honesty.
I'm just... I'm saying that while you can still stay here,
it might not be a bad idea
for you to get your shit together,
in the event it doesn't work out,
but...
I believe that it will.
But you should still
be in a position to get your own place.
I can't live like this.
It's like a sword hanging over my head.
I don't get it.
Should I not have said anything to you?
Maybe not.
Why?
So you can be spared the realities
the rest of us have to deal with every fucking day?
Spared?
How am I being spared?
I carry the load for all of you.
For all your fucking sins.
I carry the load every fucking day,
so don't tell me I'm being spared.
What sins?
What are you talking about, "sins"?
I'm going to mom and dad's.
Why? So you can torture mom?
How long are you gonna do this for, huh?
How long are you gonna keep torturing her?
You're the worst, man. You're the fucking worst.
At least I keep it at home, where it belongs.
What about you? You go out and torture women
who have never done anything wrong to you.
So who's worse, huh?
Who's the fucking worst?
I don't understand this family.
I don't understand how four people
that are supposed to care about each other
can fuck everything up so badly.
I'm just taking out a loan.
Please don't leave.
This may be purgatory,
but it's better than living in hell.
Please.
Promise me you won't go back there.
# #
you look like you're in a good mood...
Like you're in love?
Well, I guess I wouldn't remember.
Spending a lot of time with the new kid.
I wouldn't say a lot. We hang out occasionally.
He's young.
In some ways, yeah.
He reminds me of you.
Oh, he reminds me of who I wished I was.
Everything he does is so effortless.
It's like he knows everything
without ever having studied anything.
And what he doesn't know doesn't really matter anyway.
And women are just drawn to him naturally.
I mean, he's not cocky about it either.
Everything comes so effortlessly for him
that he actually creates problems for himself
just so that he isn't indecent in his own eyes
if in no one else's.
I don't know whether to be pissed or happy
someone like him actually exists.
Are you fucking him?
Is he fucking you?
Do you have to talk about it like that?
Are you so lacking in imagination...
Not so much that I can't tell
the two of you are up to something.
Are you fucking me?
We both know the answer to that.
Because I brought the two of you in together.
So if anything's going on, I should be cut in on the deal.
We were partners. You cut me out.
You quit.
I didn't quit.
You stopped working.
You moved that little girl in with you.
I wasn't going to share while you sat on your ass
and had your fun.
You're lucky I let you back here.
to work on commission after the way...
Do you really want to dignify
what we do here by calling it work?
I have a meeting at 8:00.
With some people from Seattle
about setting an operation there.
It's so pathetic.
It'll probably be good for a month or two,
but our cut should be nice.
You can get in on it if you want to come.
I can't make it tonight.
I'll be in your neighborhood,
and I can drop by afterwards when I'm done.
My brother's there, remember?
I remember everything.
Are you going somewhere?
I'm seeing our son for dinner
it's been a long day.
Why doesn't he just come over here?
There are some things I need to tell him.
I was with someone a long time ago,
before I met your father.
I know; Half the city of Paris was after you.
Is that what you wanted to have dinner to talk to me about,
all the guys chased you?
The more they wanted you,
the less interested you were in them?
They threatened suicide,
they flung themselves off buildings.
For a while, it wasn't safe to walk down the streets of Paris
for fear of all the broken-hearted boys
crashing on the pavement.
I was in love,
before Paris.
What happened?
I left him.
Why?
I was afraid.
Of what?
Why did you marry dad?
He was very handsome.
He's still handsome.
You should have seen him then.
He was incredibly handsome when we met.
I'm sure you knew a lot of handsome men.
Well, I knew he would never leave me.
That's it?
Doesn't seem like a very good reason to marry someone.
Isn't it?
He needed to prove that he would never leave me,
no matter what I did.
So I push him away,
and he stays.
Marriage is about what people need,
not what they want.
Sometimes I feel like I am a ghost.
Just floating through reality
without really touching anything.
But mostly I feel like I'm living in a dream.
Where nothing is real.
Everything is just a dream.
What makes you think that you are the one dreaming it?
What do you want, mom?
What do you want from me?
Nothing.
I don't want anything from you
I think you always felt that I needed something,
needed your love somehow in order to keep me alive.
I don't need your love.
I never needed your love.
I needed his.
Why are you telling me this?
So you can be free.
Hmm.
Sounds to me like you're the one who's free
not yet.
Soon.
Hello?
Oh!
Hi, how are you?
I'm... I know.
We... we... we've met before.
My brother's not here.
Isn't he staying with...
He's not here right now.
Oh.
My mistake. Um...
, look, you know, I'm cooking my dinner right now
and I wasn't expecting anybody.
It's kind of a mess right now
oh.
Um, can I use your bathroom?
Just for a minute. I won't bother you.
Uh...
Thanks.
Um, it's over...
Right.
It's right through there, yeah.
Is that your piano?
Your brother tells me you're a composer.
I'd love to hear one of your compositions one of these days.
I mean, if you...
Yeah, I haven't been composing recently.
Oh, that's too bad.
Oh, but you can always play one of your old ones.
I'm sure it... Yeah, yeah-
no, you know, I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm doing this...
My d... I'm cooking my dinner.
And s... I don't mean to be rude,
but it's, like, this complicated procedure,
so I don't mean to be rude.
You know, you should come out.
It's so much less work.
Yeah, it's not that simple, you know?
It's this whole thing.
That I... I wouldn't want to bore you with it.
What kind of thing?
I'm good with special diets,
and you can bring a tape of your music over,
and if you let me know what you'd like to eat,
I can make it for you.
Well, yeah, thanks.
That's really sweet of you, you know.
Uh, but... but, you know,
I'll tell my brother that you came by.
Oh, you don't have to tell him.
He's been busy.
I can make it just the two of us.
Get the fuck out.
Excuse me?
Get the fuck out of here!
I'm sorry.
Get the fuck out of here!
Get the fuck out!
Crunch!
# #
# all I want is #
# the best #
# for our lives #
# my dear #
# and you know #
# my wishes #
# are sincere #
# what's to say #
# for the days #
# I cannot bear #
# a Sunday smile #
# you wore it for a while #
# a Sunday mile #
# we paused and sang #
# a Sunday smile #
# you wore it for a while #
# a Sunday mile #
# we paused and sang #
# a Sunday smile #
# and we felt true #
I can't even believe you'd talk to me
after the raking over I gave you in that class.
Well, hey, I got a callback.
And I was mad at first,
but then I realized that you were right...
About everything.
# we burned to the ground #
what's this?
Well, those are keys to our new office.
We got our first furniture delivery in today.
It's already in?
Did you tell our boss about it yet?
- No. - No?
I was so sure you'd tell her.
Yeah, I guess I got a distressing honest streak.
Mm-hmm.
Honest or self-destructive?
I got to get going.
She's amazing.
She's really into you too.
- You think so? - Mm-hmm.
All right.
Ah, I feel like I'm in high school.
Oh-ho, I'm not that young.
No, I mean, this whole thing is just...
Let's go to my hotel.
It's just... it's just right here.
It's right around the corner.
Um, let's go to your new office.
I want to be the first to...
- Christen it? - I wouldn't use that word.
Anoint it? Appoint it?
Break it in?
Oh.
No, no, you already used that one
for the outside door.
- I did? - Yeah, you did.
I did.
Here you go.
Oh. Nice space.
Could you wait here for a minute?
Is everything all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I thought that, uh...
That the furniture would be here?
There is no furniture, is there?
Doesn't look like it.
You knew all along.
You get a cut?
What are you gonna do?
There never was anything, was there?
Nothing.
That's what you wanted, isn't it?
Hello?
Hey, it's me. I don't have keys anymore.
Hey.
I'm sorry to come over so late,
but I don't know, I just...
I just...
You were right to be worried about that thing.
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry.
I got caught up, and it...
Did something happen to your hand?
Jesus, what's wrong with your hand?
What happened?
Jesus Christ.
What happened?
Did you...
Did you do this to yourself?
Why?
Why would you do this to yourself?
- I don't know. - Why?
That woman came here looking for you.
What woman?
What are you talking about?
The Asian woman that you're staying with.
Staying with...
Why'd she come here?
I don't know, she wanted to talk to you.
And then she started talking to me.
And she... she wouldn't stop talking to me.
And... I don't know. I just lost it.
I'm sorry. You're sorry?
Sorry?
You're sorry?
How could you do this to yourself?
I don't know.
I didn't even know I was doing it.
I just did it.
Like it was happening to somebody else.
Like I was somebody else.
I don't even know who I am.
I don't know.
Oh, jeez.
You got to get yourself to a hospital.
Okay?
Here.
What's that?
For a taxi.
Aren't you coming with me?
No, I'm not fucking going with you.
You can get your own fucking self to the hospital
like a man for once in your life.
Maybe dad will take me.
Fuck dad.
You get your own fucking self to a hospital.
You're the one who fucked up your own motherfucking life.
Dad will take me.
You know what?
I don't give a shit.
Go by yourself, get dad to take you,
or you can fucking stay here and rot
like you were doing before I showed up.
This whole family can go to hell, for all I care.
You can go to hell.
Madame,
il y a quelqu'un pour vous a l'appareil.
Yes?
Dad?
Mom.
Mom?
Dad?
Mom?
Herein.
What are you doing here?
You know what I'm doing here.
What...
Leave me...
You can't just come crashing in any time you want to.
Shut up. Slap!
Not now!
Not now? Not ever, right?
No, I don't want that. No!
You do want it. You just don't want it from me.
You just don't want it from me.
Get...
Get off.
Stop it.
Get off.
Stop.
Ugh. Get off!
Get out of here. No.
Thud!
# #